How my want of control makes me worried and anxious..
I always used to tell my friends that I am a born pessimist and that I have trained myself to think positively. Today, as my daughter's bus didn't appear 20mins after the usual time, the first thought that came into my mind was - How Will I Get Her To School? I have such a busy morning! This is going to be difficult.
I had a pile of work that I needed to get done this morning (including this email) and I was so worried about my plans going off course.
Just a minute later, the van pulled over inside the gate of our apartment and off she went!
And as I processed my reaction I realised that thinking that I am being 'negative' about things doesn't help me to resolve anything. All it helps me do is dislike myself and be disappointed that I can't be more optimistic.
But what if that unnecessary negative thought was not really just me 'being negative'. What if it was me wanting control over my day and my morning. What if it was me disliking uncertainty?
I am a part of a culture and society that loves certainty and thrives on control. That makes me used to having things a certain way and not wanting for anything to go off track.
And if it does, then I get irritable and whiny!
It's because I am just like all of us are right now, disconnected from nature - out of sync with it's rhythms and unable to experience the oneness of everything.
I have been doing all the work on loving my self - accepting myself unconditionally all of these years. But I know self-love isn't a destination I will someday reach. Instead self-love is a constant practice at being human and embracing my spirituality at the same time.
I believe self-love is a really vast and beautifully deep practice of realising we aren't after all as separate as we think we are - from the rest of the universe! And that uncertainty and not having full control is a part of the beauty of our lives.
This kind of introspection is what brought me to sharing my training videos about the '3 massive mistakes even the smartest women make that keeps them overweight, exhausted and unhappy" that I released just a few days ago. Within just 48 hours more than 150 people shared it and I have received many heartfelt messages and feedback from women who loved it!
I am ever so grateful for the love and warmth that has been poured out in appreciation of these videos.
I wanted to make sure you didn't miss it. If you haven't watched both Videos 1 and 2 yet, go ahead and click here.
They're only available till the 1st of September!
Feel free to share this link with your friends so someone else can learn and be inspired from the message too! They're only available for another 7 days.