How I Beat Post Partum Blues And Tripled My Earning and Productivity In The 'Fourth Trimester
Those who know me and my work well know that I am a passionate entrepreneur who has been working hard at creating a business which is an intersection of passion, doing good and creating profit.
In the last month I was able to take more coaching sessions, create a brand new online course and triple the revenues from my online wellness brand than i have in any month of the past year.
At some point in your life you stop explaining your limitations, and start rooting for your dreams You could call it pronoia or you could call it the end of your excuse-making phase.
But at some point in life you get from a place where you stop explaining and justifying to yourself and others about what is not working for you and get down to doing EVERYTHING it takes to get to where you want to go.
I've had business opportunities around the corner for me for a very long time. I've wanted to dedicate a specific time to it every single day and see where I am able to take it. But for the past many years I've struggled with the kind of consistency that I've been wanting to have. My first born needing my attention, the home that forever needs to be maintained, the nutrition that we need to get as a family and most definitely the lack of time that you have as a busy urban dweller. Strangely enough, the most productive time of life happens to also be the most time-crunched phase of my life. I gave birth to my little one 3 months ago and after getting some rest for the first 4 weeks I am back to work for the last 2 months. And lo and behold, my coaching and online programs business as well as the wellness products business have had a chance to finally thrive in exactly these two months. I have put out more posts, written articles regularly. posted on Instagram more often and had more consistent marketing efforts happen in exactly these last 2 months!
When I look back at these 3 months, the 4th trimester as some people call it, I realise that there are tons of factors that came together for these months to be productive, financially and passion-wise rewarding for me.
I am summarising 5 of them here because I believe many of you will relate with them:
1. Rewriting My Story(letting go of victimhood): I believe the story of these two sisters sums it up beautifully for me. They were both routinely abused by their father growing up. One of the sisters eventually turned to drugs, didn't finish school, became homeless, and went from one abusive relationship to another. The other sister went on to college, had a successful career, and was in a loving relationship with someone who cherished her. Both girls were interviewed on national television, and when asked the question "How did you end up where you are today?" their response was the same: "After everything I went through, after everything I endured, how could I have turned out any differently?"
For the longest time I continued to explain to myself and others the reasons why I was unable to do what I wanted to do. I wanted someone to feel my pain, someone to understand my limitations and someone to pat me on the back and say, 'yes I know how tough that is'. With hours of coaching, journaling and some radical self-acceptance I was able to get to a place where I was finally giving myself a chance to comfort me!
When I fully accepted my story, gave myself the space to feel what I wanted to and allowed myself to have a life and identity that wasn't based on my limitations, I found ways to get out of my story. The result? Immense energy and focus.
2. Staying Motivated With Only What Really Matters: As part of getting so busy and tired mentally and physically I realised I had to take away what doesn't matter so that I can focus on what really matters. So I applied my process of testing my to-do list. I kept only what really matters to me and comes from a place of completeness and love and let go of all of those to-dos that were motivated by a fear of being left out! The result? Lesser things to focus on.
3. Removing The Chaff With Journaling: Every now and then I found myself getting bogged down by the amount of work I wanted to do and the hundreds of things that were standing in the way. I would keep getting pulled down mentally and feel demotivated every time I wasn't able to do what I set out to. Journaling as a daily practice helped me to get the mindless chatter around this negativity out of the way so that instead of hanging around in the mess I was able to quickly move on to the efficient utilisation of time. The result? Fewer breaks that come from falling off track.
(I teach how to use Journaling to make yourself more effective, productive and enjoy clarity in a 6-week online course that you can take from anywhere in the world. More details here.)
4. Giving Up On The Worry About Judgement: I worried I would look like a bad mother. I worried the other women around me would judge me for not being there for my children. I kept thinking about the thoughts in the heads of all the people around me. So much that more than 80% of my thoughts were dominated by the ideas and thoughts of people around me.
I realised this somewhere around the time that we first found out we were pregnant. We were on a family vacation in the States and when we realised I had missed my period. When the pregnancy test came out positive, I was ecstatic. We had been wanting to have a second addition to our family for a few months already! BUT, there were a lot of pent up emotions that came up with it. I felt rage, anger, frustration - all the things that I had bottled up within me inspite of a regular journaling and meditation practice.
As I used this time away from home to process all that I was feeling, I realised that the root of it was my own struggle with self-judgement. The pain was the holding back of my ambitious side. The frustration was coming from the assumption that I was okay with prioritising motherhood over all the other parts of me.
When I allowed all the parts of me to then be accepted, I realised that I now wanted to allow the other parts of me to come to the fore. That included the practical and ambitious woman within me. (I teach about finger women within my whole self that have different voices and the danger of leaving them unheard, in my journaling e-course)
This realisation and the certainty that came with it allowed me to stop judging myself and therefore stop being affected by the judgement of the people around me. The result? Relentless productivity.
5. Prioritising My High Vibe: Part of being a highly effective mother, home maker and entrepreneur meant that I was always on a creative high vibe. I needed to have ideas, the energy to implement each one of them and the good sense to know which ones to let go.
Since I am an open hearted creative entrepreneur I frequently get affected by emotional lows that come from being a highly sensitive and emotionally open person. I decided to prioritise self-care so that my vibe remained high and positive. That meant a few minutes of quiet time that involved getting conscious of your breath, a quick cup of coffee alone by myself with my journals between two feeds and a quick walk in the park chatting up with other mommy friends every evening.
Even though these things are all simple, they made a huge difference to how I felt and I was able to remain largely positive. The result? Self-care = self love and a whole lot of confidence.
P.S: I want you to know I have a day time nanny and a helper to support my work. However, these last few months have also seen more than a few changes in helpers and routines and with the help of the practices I wrote about above, I was able to go through those times (never easily but definitely efficiently)
P.P.S: If you'd like to find out more about the Journaling E course and sign up for it, click here.