This morning as I sat down close to my favourite palm trees journaling as I always do I realized the top most concerns on my mind were about how to make sure my day and my life pans out exactly the way I'd like it to.
I wanted to make sure I was controlling everything so that it could go 'perfectly'
Even though several times I've been aware of the surrender and letting go that has to happen for us to really be in sync with our highest truth, when it comes down to practice I still get into my head too much and use my intellect to 'figure my life out'!
I started to journal about how I had some concerns and how I need to get them out of the way. And how I need to make sure that my daughter needs to grow up with the right values and mindset. And about how she should spend a little less time with my help and a little more time with me. Then I began worrying about how that would probably not happen because it's not easy to delegate and make things go the way you want them to when 'people' are involved. And about how my helper won't get it. And about how my daughter might want to engage more with her leaving me no choice to implement the plan I wanted for her day..........and so on.....
Until, I hapened to look up to see this -
I mean it was there all along. And I had definitely seen it before this moment. But in this moment I actually saw something else. It was more than seeing. I sensed it. I breathed it. I experienced it. It dawned on me that the seed of this bushy designer twisted plant did not 'pursue' a certain structure. It didn't think about how it would shape up. It didn't worry about whether all of its branches were even and structured. Within the seed was the intelligence from nature that would define the way it would grow and flourish. The branches were big and small, twisted and straight, short and long - totally imperfect but perfectly beautiful.
If I come from nature and I am not seperate from it and if I believe in the source energy, the universe or God then I need to remind myself of this intelligence.
Every time I 'plan' how things should pan out!
Every time I get worked up about how things will not go my way and make projections about all the negative possibilities
Every time I get anxious about making sure everything is on the perfectly right track
I need to remind myself. I am one with nature and just like the seed of that plant had the possiblity of the perfection and beauty that emerged from it, so do I have within me the possiblity of a beautiful life that will be created. All I need to do is to trust that energy. Give in to that force. Have faith in the divine unfolding!
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